(OK, boys and girls, please comment and tell me if these types of changes in your workplace would be satisfactory? I mean let's help those who can't help themselves at work. Some of us just have a tendency to work harder than others, why should those who don't work as hard as us not get their fair share? VN8)
You small business owners out there are preparing for life under a Barack Obama presidency. One of our listeners sent us some new rules for small businesses based on Obama's ideals of change and fairness:
As of November 5, 2008, when President Obama officially becomes president-elect, our company will instill a few new policies which are in keeping with his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness:
1. All salespeople will be pooling their sales and bonuses into a common pool that will be divided equally between all of you. This will serve to give those of you who are under-achieving a "fair shake".
2. All low level workers will be pooling their wages, including overtime, into a common pool, dividing it equally amongst you. This will help those who are "too busy for overtime" to reap the rewards from those who have more spare time and can work extra hours.
3. All top management will now be referred to as "the government." We will not participate in this "pooling" experience because the law doesn't apply to us.
4. The "government" will give eloquent speeches to all employees every week, encouraging its workers to continue to work hard "for the good of all".
5. The employees will be thrilled with these new policies because it's "good to spread the wealth around". Those of you who have underachieved will finally get an opportunity; those of you who have worked hard and had success will feel more "patriotic".
6. The last few people who were hired should clean out their desks. Don't feel bad, though, because President Obama will give you free healthcare, free handouts, free oil for heating your home, free food stamps, and he'll let you stay in your home for as long as you want even if you can't pay your mortgage. If you appeal directly to our democratic congress, you might even get a free flat screen TV and a coupon for free haircuts (shouldn't all Americans be entitled to nice looking hair?)!!!
If for any reason you are not happy with the new policies, you may want to rethink your vote on November 4th.
9 comments:
This is in jest, but there are folks who do think along these lines. It's just not fair, dang it, when someone has more than I!
Lee, EXACTLY! That's why I prefaced the post with Boys and Girls! LOL What troubles me is that those folks are quickly becoming a majority because I believe they are procreating more than conservatives. I do not say that in jest. VN8
It's going to be a long miserable four years for you VN8!
Jim, I wouldn't count your chickens before they hatch. Only time will tell. It may be you who has a long miserable four years. I love the joy you seem to emote at thinking someone else will be miserable. Such compassion coming from a supposed moderate Democrat. LOL VN8
I can actually speak to #1 in a relative way. I work for a company which does this exact thing for computing End Of Year bonuses (for rank-and-file, at least) In the "olden days" bonuses were tied directly to personal performance. Nowadays, there is a huge mathematical formula taking into account your co-workers performance, the office performance, the corporate sector performance, and lastly, total corporate performance. Personal performance - meaning you didn't get a warning letter this year - accounts for paltry percentage points compared to the effect your co-workers have on your bonus. Why should I tighten *every* bolt to 30 lbs/ft., when I'll get paid as long as everybody else does so?
*eyeroll*
Angie, if BO is elected I'm sure you will be provided with some lovely health care and maybe you can go to the doctor and discover why you have all those body twitches like the "eyeroll", wonder what causes that? VN8
OM1C, kind of reminds me when all the stink started regarding childrens sports leagues. You know, the idea that children shouldn't win or lose, it supposedly affected their self esteem. So they decided until they reached a certain age that they wouldn't keep score! Their liberal ideas have infiltrated everything. VN8
I *do* like the farm analogy. Hey, your tomatoes are bigger than mine, because you fertilized, cared for and nurtured them. I however left mine hanging in the breeze (and get your mind outta that gutter). So I'll just overtly (because I'm protected by the government) come over and take a few of your big ones!
...and if you are one of those law-breaking gun-toters and you shoot my ass off, I'll just sue. One way or another, you WILL share your wealth!
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