Wednesday, October 15, 2008

It's Debate Day!

October 15, 2008
Neal Boortz

The day has come. Tonight is the last debate ... well, that's what they like to call it ... between Barack Obama and John McCain. It's really a joint press conference. Wouldn't it be great just to give them both microphones and say "You have 90 minutes. Hash this thing out." Tom Brokaw virtually destroyed the last "debate" with his boring demeanor and pitiful choice of questions. So, tonight I'm not expecting much. John McCain hasn't taken off the boxing gloves yet, and my bet is that the 24 oz. gloves are waiting for him in his dressing room.

Time to set the rules for the drinking games.

For Barack: For every time he says "middle class" you take a shot. For every time he says "but what the American people really want to talk about" or some derivate thereof "is the economy" you eat a jalapeno. By the end of the session any continence or bowel problems you might have should be taken care of.

For McCain: Not so easy, this is going to be a little subjective. Let's just say that ever time The Chosen One tees it up for McCain, and McCain wiffs, you hit the bottle. You'll pass out before this mess is over.

Now McCain did say yesterday that Barack Obama's association with Bill Ayers will probably come up in the debate tonight. If it does, which Obama excuse would you like to choose from?

* "He just a guy who lives in my neighborhood."

* "Bombs? You're not serious! I thought he was just an English professor. English professors throw bombs? Surely you're talking about metaphorical bombs."

* "I was only 8-years-old when he threw bombs at the Pentagon."

* "I thought he had been rehabilitated."

* "Oh yeah? Well you knew Charles Keating!"

* "It all depends on what your definition of 'terrorist' is."

* "Hey, I didn't know anything about his past when he nurtured my political career."

* "Did he help me write my book? Look, let's talk about issues that matter to the American middle class."

I'm going to go with, "Let's focus on the economy" option.

I guess there is the possibility that McCain will hit Obama with something about his long-term association with ACORN. Here are some possible responses,

* "Everybody knows that from little acorns mighty oak trees grow. That has to mean something. I don't really know what ... but something."

* "All they're trying to do is to get more Americans to exercise their right to vote."

* "This stuff would really be bad if they were working for Republicans. But with Democrats, the rule is 'whatever's necessary'."

* I don't really know who put that thing on my website listing as a "fact" that I never worked with or for ACORN. It's gone now though. So all is forgiven, right

McCain's Economic Plan

At least this one isn't called a rescue plan for the middle class ... but yesterday I outlined some of Barack Obama's proposals, so today it is John McCain's turn.

* Reduce the tax rate on 10% of the first $50,000 withdrawn from retirement account. Why not reduce the tax rate TO 10%?

* Waive the rules forcing seniors to withdraw 15% of their retirement accounts at age 70. Great idea .. and one that Obama has picked up on.

* Increase tax write-offs for individuals to deduct $15,000 in stock losses for the next two years.

* Cut the capital gains tax on stock profits in half from 15% to 7.5%.

Those are just a few of his proposals. But the more entertaining part has been the response from the Obama campaign. At first they called the plan "a day late and 101 million middle-class families short." Oh no! You mean that John McCain didn't mention the middle class in his economic plan?? The horror! He is so out of touch.

And this economic brilliance is rich. An Obama spokesperson says, "Sen. McCain also shows how little he understands the economy by offering lower capital gains rates in a year in which people don't have an awful lot of capital gains." I'm sure this is the same guy who devised Obama's plan to cut capital gains taxes for all of you small business owners out there who don't pay capital gains taxes at all.

And then there's the wealth envy. This is skewed towards people at the top! This will only help people who don't need the help!

Under Obama if you're unemployed you should be forced to go get a job from a poor or middle class person. No fair trying to get a job from someone in the top 20% of income earners.

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