Sarah bashers beyond the pale

By Laura Armstrong
Columnist

Palin Derangement Syndrome has reached new heights among America's left-leaning citizenry, and this Sarah-fan mom (plug in your own adjective; I happen to be a dance-volleyball-onetime lacrosse type) actually hopes it will get worse.

The frothing critics have no clue their tactics are backfiring. Even if the McCain-Palin ticket loses, Sarah's on the national stage now with a unique brand of conservatism and energetic candor that's a breath of fresh air, especially for those of us who came by our political philosophy via another happy warrior-governor, Ronald Reagan. They called him simple too, among other things, yet ultimately failed to tarnish his Shining City on the Hill. And yes, he also had speechwriters.

Not even my girl, columnist Kathleen Parker, can sway me on Sarah, who's run the gauntlet of disdain like a champ. Every cheap shot is one more indicator of the left's discomfort - at her charisma, her philosophy, her competitive spirit (she's not ready to give up Michigan!) and the genuine experiences and passion she'll bring to Washington. They don't like what she represents, and by gad, they're going to tear her down.

Problem is, that's like tearing down Middle America.

It's fun to watch those in the tank for Obama, striving so hard to portray him and Biden as caring about our "kitchen table" lives. If we're not victims of Katrina, in their eyes, we must all be suicidal around our tables, yes?

Biden, you know, hangs at Home Depot, while Barack chills at Whole Foods or with his big donors at Fannie and Freddie. Oops, better not let slip Obama was second only to one other Democrat in dollars received from those bastions of bailout.

Why harp on that though, when we can talk about Sarah and her tanning bed?

As we enter week three of the scandal, poor, simple, unqualified Sarah must be a weirdo because she bought a used tanning bed for the Alaska governor's mansion. Or maybe she's a snob. Her detractors can't decide.

"She paid for it with her own money, but still," one pasty white NYC writer whined. "In what other forms of personal vanity does she indulge?"

I choke on my Diet Coke, recalling Kerry's botox, Biden's plugs and Edwards' $400 haircut.

Southerner's note to Yankee elites: The vampire look might be desirable where you live, but in flyover country tanning salons are thriving small businesses. Like the ones Obama wants to tax more.

My daughter (full disclosure) is employed at one and reports business is booming, so much so she can't even finish her homework each evening.

With legions of fans spanning every demographic, tanners could be the most serious new and insulted constituency of 2008, like the NASCAR voters of 2006 only less red and more bronzed.

But remember this: Those who're scandalized by Sarah's tanning bed are also the defenders of mortgage deadbeats, pushing taxpayer bailouts for irresponsible parties. They want funds ripped from American troops in the midst of battle. They're blind to illegal aliens pouring over our borders, as well as Obama's incredibly shady associations.

The tanning scandal pales by comparison.

(Way to go Laura, tell it like it is sister! You also are a breath of fresh air and my world has become brighter having you as a friend! Keep the faith, stand strong and get to work on that book I know you have brewing inside your head! Five stars and you know what that means! LOL VN8)